yet another example of what good houseguests we are

"no, just let us stay in the guestroom. nooooooo, we don't let them on our furniture" (KA-BLANG at which point I am struck by a thunderbolt of lightning)

what a cutiepie this guy is. YOU tell him to get off the bed. You are wasting your time if you don't hear the noises he makes towards the end, watch the whole thing.

And for the last time, what works at our house is not how we expect to behave when we are at your house. (Pause, wait for thunderbolt. None) We respect your boundaries and we respect your things. (Still no thunderbolt) that's why we always travel with a dyson vacuum and a case of febreeze.